Mad Devices Of Wonderland
by Bdsm-kitty
Summary: Story of a world gone down the crapper, meet new original characters! A new twist of Naruto and Alice In Wonderland, My friends and I give a new twist on a old tale. Also by MidEvilLight1882 and xx racontuer, rated M for a reason! Lemony goodness :


The Mad Devices Of Wonderland

"I really appreciate this," Mia said as she brushed the knots out of her hair. Thyme was on the couch with Kat, trying desperatly to beat her at Mario Cart Wii. "Oh No, Mario," the game squeled as Thyme's cartwas pushed into the lake below." Rawg Bitch!" Thyme exclaimed as her cart bobbed, then sank into the water. Kat giggled, and ran her cart across the finish line. Thyme sulked

" No problem, Mia, We'll be your dates to your crazy aunt Alice's funeral, right Thyme?" Kat asked Thyme. " Yeah, Whatever, rematch me!" Thyme yelled, leaping of the couch, and pressing the reset button. Thyme and Kat's finger a blur as they presed the buttons on their controllers.

Mia smiled at her odd white haired friend, that was now sitting in front of the T.V screen. Kat brought her legs up and jabbed at the controller. Both bickering back and forth.

"Oh No, Mario!"

"Cheater!"

"Sore Loser!"

"Art Tracer!"

"Hobe Raper"

"Oh No She Didn't!" Mia brought her hands up in the air, doing several snaps, plus a 'gay man' wave. Thyme mumbled tossed the controller, shying away from a gloating Kat. Mia stood, smothing the wrinkle from her black dress, and pulled on her sweater. "Thyme, please don't mess upi that dress. My family already thinks of you as a freak, but showing up with cat hair all over a black funeral dress, I'm scared to find out what they will think…," Thyme stood up from the floor, pulling at the individual hairs on her black kneee length dress.

"Sorry ,Mia can you fix the ribbon in the back?"Thyme asked. Mia walked over to Thyme straightening the blue waist length ribbon. She pushed Thyme away with a smirk, then she poked Kat. "Kat, you ready?" Kat turned around with a scowl on her face. She nervously tugged the sides of her new long sleeved dress.

Thyme sighed."Would you stop it. You look fine!" kat gave her a 'are you serious' look, and frowned. " I hate dresses, never can be comfortable in them." Mia rolled her eyes. "Mia, Thyme, Kat! Time to go!" Mia's mother called from downstairs. Thyme groaned pulling on the black heels, she stole from Mia's closet. "Hey those are my heels!"

Mia's lips parted on an exasperated groan, her hands tightened on the wheel of her car. She winced as the car behind her honked, her teeth gritted together in an attempt not to stick her little blonde head out the window, and give thw dirtbag who'd practically been riding the bumper of her precious '69 Chevy Nova, a good piece of her mind.

"Arg, this guys been riding our asses the entire way here. I swear, if his crappy little tin can on wheels so much as touches my baby, I WILL KILL," she giggled beside her in the passenger seat, although the girl's eyes never strayed from the DS in her hands. Thyme had been glued to that thing since they'd left from the house. Mia had never seen her friend so focused on something in her life. The only time she'd spoken during the whole ride was when she would randomly scream "Arg, I hate this song!" , and jab at the controls on the radio.

Kat on the other hand had been quietly grumbling to herself in the back seat. Something along the lines of 'stupid dresses, damn torture devices from hell!' While she squirmed akwardly, figeting with the straps of the little black dress mia had loaned her. At one point, she'd ripped of the heels, would've thrown them out the window, if Mia hadn't threatened to burn every last one of her yaoi books, if she did.

"Just slam on the brakes. He should make it out of that alive. Hell, if you do it quick enough his fac e might smash against the wheel, and his nose will shove up into his brain," she giggled "Hey, if he's not wearing a seat belt we might even get lucky enough to see him fly though the window." She rubbed her hands together evilly, closely resembling at that moment some super villian or evil genius.

Mia shook her head in distain, saying, "I worry,Kat." "Besides, are you crazy Mia would never do anything to hurt her precious baby." Thyme finally pipped up, finishing by playfully nudging her friend in the ribs, sticking her toungue out and giggling. "Oh, har har," Mia grumbled back. She'd been in a crappy mood all day. She hadn't looked forward to going to some distantly related family member's funeral.

Mia only remembered meeting her mother's sister once in her life, and it hadn't been the greatest experience of her life. She'd been about six at the time, forced to attend some family reunion filled with people she barely knew. The first time she'd ever seen Great Aunt Alice, the old woman had grabbed her arm, with the frenzy of a dying woman trying to breathe her last wishes. "Have you seen my Dinah!?" She'd asked, giving young Mia's arm a good shake. The old woman grip had been strong, and as her hold had grown tighter Mia cried out, "Ow, you're hurting me!"

"The Red Queen, my dear! Beware of the Red Queen, and the warring courts! I can't control it, all of Wonderland will parish!" the woman screeched. Frightened little Mia had finally been able to escape the old woman's clutches, and had scrambled, crying, back to her mother. Two years later Aunt Alice was admitted to an insane asylum approximately 300 miles away.

And now at seventeen Mia was going to see 'Crazy Aunt Alice' one last time. She couldn't help, but to dread the occasion. Mia swore that everyone in Mia's family belonged in the nut house, right along with old Alice. Cousin Sheila, ever the drama queen, was probably bawling her eyes out, and clutching onto the coffin of a woman she'd never met before, for dear life. Grandma was probably 'speaking in tongues' again while her grandfather, a man who hadn't spoken a word in almost five years, now sat back, an watched the entire event with an emotionless expression.

"Hey, I think this is it. 2201 Wonder Lane, right? Mia?! Earth to Mia, are you there?" Thyme frowned at her friend, knowing from the blondes unresponsive stare, that Mia was probably somewhere off in La La Land. She waved her hand in front of the driver's face, and was about to smack her in the face, when Mia's body suddenly went rigid. Her blue eyes blinked rapidly

Mia gave her friends a meek smile, "Sorry guys, kinda got lost in the clouds, for a minute." "Well no shit, space cadet!" Kat chuckled, "Jesus Christ, you're trying to kill us aren't you? I don't see how you ever got your license, zoning out like that." She grumbled, glancing down to see if see still had her seat belt on, will a reckless friend as a driver you could never be too careful.

"Not to mention you made us miss our turn, Mia." Thyme pointed out. Her heart dropped at the grin on Mia's face. While Mia appeared calm, and collected, the observer of the group, she could also be quite the dare devil. "Hold on, I got this," she smirked, slamming her on the brakes while simaltanously jerking the steering wheel to the left, and shifting gears so the back wheels of the car were drifting behind them befoere they made their turn. "Ho shit!!" Thyme screamed as her side of the car was lifted of the pavement. "God damn it Mia this is not a fast and furious movie!"Thyme screeched, as the car dropped back down. She clutched at her beat heart, as she gasped for air. Kat continued to laugh manically in the back. Thyme shot a glare at Mia, but the girl kept her eyes on the road, the triumphant smirk never leaving her face. "Your all fucking crazy," Thyme braethed, breathless.

"Ah, you know you love us," Kat pionted out of the car, much to Thymes relief, came to a halt in front of a quite little white church. "Well," Mia sighed, "Here we are, this is it." "LAND!" Thyme cried, flinging the door open, and stumbling out of the car. Mia rolled her eyes, at Thymes behavior. Sliding out of the driver's seat, smothing her dress back into place. "C'mon, it wasn't that bad, was it Kat?" the girl, having already wiggled her way out of the back seat, pumped both fists in the air and proclaimed,"That was awsome!" This action caused her to wobbled usteadily in the nearly three inch heels, strapped to her feet.

Mia glanced to her left and noticed her mother Chrysler 300, she groaned. "Aw man. Ma beat us here. I'm so dead." If crazy ran in the family line, then it certainly had not skipped her mother. Mrs. Mercier, a religious fanatic, OCD suffering, anal, middle aged woman. If Mia was ever late for anything, she would never hear the end of it. Taking a good look at the entrance to the church, she felt as if she was taking that first step towards hell.

"Ahhh, LAND" both Thyme and Kat yelled simultaneously, as they collapsed to further praise the land they thought they'd never see again. As Kat rolled onto her back, willowing the ground like a dog with a bad back itch. "I thought I had died and went to hell!" Kat yelled. The preacher had droned on and on about how the lord would save Alice's poor demented soul. Going on to say 'Alice's jar just didn't have a fun set of marbles.' A thought suddenly popped into Kats head, like a bad case of the chicken pox. "Quick, to the bat mobile" Kat shockingly said. They started off to the cemetery, before the rest of the funeral goers Thymes eyes once again glued to the screen. Mia was driving as if she was the Duke boys, and the cops were after her. Kat was laughing manically as Thyme was alternating between gripping the dashboard out of sheer terror, or trying to finish her game.

Once they reached the cemetery, it was like a déjà vu of what happen at the church, but with Kat's random comments. "Good afternoon dead people." And Kat had changed her outfit to a red plaid skirt, fishnet hose, black boots, and a red blouse. Mia and Thyme glance at one another, and then both started laughing at the strange and slightly demented comment. Staring up at the sky, Kat seemed almost in a trance. Breaking out of the trace Kat realize that the attendance of the funeral attendees.

"Hey Mia," Kat whispered suddenly poking her friend in the side to be sure. Mia turned "What?" "Who's that?" Kat asked and nodded towards. She nodded towards a lady at the other side of the assembly. "Actually I don't know." She'd never seen the lady before, she wondered who she could be, Kat decided to investigate. Walking over to the mystery woman. Thyme noticing the conversation followed behind Kat and Mia. Kat whispered to her. "Hi I'm Kat, I've never seen you around did you know Alice?" The woman gave a look of surprise. After recovering from the shock. She answered "O, yes I'm sorry, I was her nurse, and I guess best friend at the asylum." She had a far off look to her face. "It still makes me sad to thing of her crying over her lost cat Dinah. It still makes me teary eyed when I think about how we used to talk, or when she cried on my shoulder. Sorry I must be babbling" Linda apolagized, after relizing their mistake.

"No, of course not it just makes me think I withi had a mother." Kat said as sadness overwhelmed her.

After the funeral, Kat stared down into the grave. "Mm, I wonder what drove her insane?" Kat said to no one in perticular. "I don't know, but she's always been like that, since I was little." Mia replaid. "Strange," Kat said to no one in perticular. Her lips persing in question. Suddenly a little white blur of a dog ran towards the grave with white bunny ears atop his adorable fuzzy head. They watch the little bunnydog run, and jump simulating a connonball,down into a grave. Just as suddenly, Kat grabbed Mia by the arm, and yelled out I will save you bunnydog. Mia said as she fell with Kat "I don't this is a good ideaaa.." Thyme jumping from foot to foot, said "Okay, I can do this, All I've got to do is trick myself. "Okay here I go," as she pointed upward, tricking herself into falling backwards.


End file.
